They begin this episode with Brandi and I begin with a thank you. My favorite is that they instantly lay into the fact that she never has a bra on, which is an issue that has bothered me for more than one blog. I also love that everyone talks about what a slut she is, but isn't really. This is the weirdest greeting ever. Brandi, if you are not a slut, then don't refer to you as one. If you are a slut, then wear it proud. If you are unsure, let me know and I'll introduce you to some so you can compare and contrast.
They next question her on why she wore such a small bikini on the Hawaii trip in front of everyone's husbands. Her response "Who was married? Mauricio, her husband (pointing at Lisa), 2 men. Oh and Paul was there, but there's a big question mark there." Slam dunk, Brandi. 10 points for that. Adrienne retorts, "No that's not a question mark, we're married." Are you surprised Maloof when every word you say to your husband is filled with disdain? Of course, that's also how I can tell y'all are married, because every word you say to him is filled with disdain. Still, I love that she called her out on it after beating up on Lisa last week. Let's face it, Adrienne. You and Paul are not the portrait of marital bliss. Most couples fight about money and that's not an issue for you, so be nice to your husband. If not, rest assured, someone else with take him.
Game Night. They could spend an entire reunion episode on this one topic. I do find it humorous that Kyle tries to blow off her behavior. What is the "I would never do something like that" comment about Kim hiding Brandi's crutches at the party. Honey, you found out she hid them, but then you certainly didn't go get them for her. I would not be OK with that behavior. What I love even more is that Brandi said, "Well, your sister is in rehab now so I wasn't that wrong." You damn straight! As much as I don't really respect Brandi, I have to admit that I sort of like her now. More people need to be as authentic as she is. Everyone in Beverly Hills claims they want everyone else to be honest with them. Allow me to be honest with you, no you don't. You want everyone to tell you exactly what you want to hear and you need your ego inflated daily. Brandi is a refreshing change. Then Taylor interjects her, "but you said you were going to kill her twice." Oh Taylor, SHUT UP! When you have nothing to add to the conversation, you keep your inflated lips closed. It's a wonder they have sealed themselves closed by now.
There were many disappointing parts of this episode. I expected so much more out of the curse words segment. So much potential and snooze... Who talks like that? You do and it's boring. Favorite curse word, "Poopy Stink"? Really Camille? Then dogs drinking out of glasses? Sexy versus slutty? Kyle trying to pretend she's better than everyone else. (FYI, Child Actor, you're not). Did we really need 3 episodes for this? I could have edited 9/10 of this episode. I have a feeling I will only be discussing Brandi for the rest of this since she's the only one who brought her A game to the reunion.
Next they discuss the Lisa and Taylor friendship that blossomed after the tea party. Yes, it was weird, but I feel like Lisa was being extra nice to this nut job and she needed at the time. Taylor's big issue with Lisa...Giggy was tweeting and calling people names. Can you people please bottle and donate your free time to me? Who in the hell understands Twitter anyway? Taylor was hurt because Giggy called her either a blow fish or a duck, you know, like half of the free world. Brandi confronts her saying you talk about your lips too and she snaps back "I wasn't talking to you". Brandi says, "Back off Oklahoma" and it really didn't have any impact on the show, but the fact that she said it makes me giggle.
Taylor tells Lisa that all the women talk behind her back and Lisa is shocked by this revelation. Really? I've been female for a while now and being around other females has only proven one thing, everyone talks behind everyone's back. Just assume it is so. Now what they say is what makes the difference. Brandi confirmed that piece of information to Lisa as well. Adrienne seemed a little shocked that Brandi said that. Why Adrienne? Guilty much? Then Brandi chimes in, "Well I didn't say they all talked behind your back, just one person specifically." then she looks at Adrienne and says "You." Shazaam! Seriously, I love this. Adrienne, "Why would you tell her that? That's not nice." I'm sorry, I must have just swallowed a pill and hallucinated. Brandi should not have told Lisa that you talk behind her back, but you telling everyone you don't like her and other terrible things is considered friendly behavior in Beverly Hills? Besides Adrienne, your guilty behavior is selling you out way more than anything that comes out of your face today. Grow a set and admit it. Stop blaming the Brandi Train.
There's a few more questions, then they get into a conversation about Brandi's issues with Taylor. I mean really, how long is this episode? I'm sure she could go one for days. In this instance Brandi starts talking about running into Russell somewhere and him denying the e-mail incident. She said that he said Taylor knew about it. Come on, Brandi? Do you really believe him? He a liar who beats his wife. Even though Duckie gets on my nerves, I have to back her up on this one. I'm Team Taylor on this round, though I like it much better when I'm Team Taylor because of a hot wolf guy than in this particular case.
What I don't understand is why is Taylor so hell bent determined to repeat every single horrendous thing Russell has ever said to her. Stop it! It's crazy! Don't do it anymore. Then Taylor defends herself by saying, "Eddie Cibrian said you slit his tires. Is that true." Brandi without skipping a beat says, "Yeah." LOVE IT! That was the best moment of the season hands down and I'm back on Team Brandi. Then she proceeds to describe what she did. Now I think I need a Brandi poster in my house! It's so awesome. Then Taylor concludes the segment with "I rest my case." What? What case? You the head case is rested? I'm no philosophy professor, but I don't think you proved anything at all with that flow of logic, Home Girl. The madness continues....Brandi asks Taylor about the book she was "writing" and how quickly it seems to have evolved. Duckie totally loses and starts giving her Domestic Violence statistics. Hold on a minute, do you really think you are going to change the trends of domestic violence with your latest version of a Real Housewives book? Do YOU even believe the shit you are selling? She espouses, "This is none of your business." Then why oh WHY are you talking about it on television? I know it's cable, but you must know that now people besides Brandi will know about it.
In the madness St. Kyle, the perpetual Saint of complete self-centeredness, says "someone died here. Don't judge until you've walked in someone else's shoes." Just when I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit she says, "you are Angry Spice" as though it was the most clever comeback of all time. FYI Kyle, it was not. It was an extraordinarily dated reference from the late 90's. The conversation of Kyle defending Taylor continues, but I've lost all interest until.... Lisa defends Brandi slashing the tires. Superhero Lisa strikes again and I love it!
There is lots of talk about the Kyle and Kim relationship. Whatever. I'll save commentary for the next episode. I'm getting sick of Kyle and I want her to stop talking. Let's turn to Camille. Andy confronts her on how she acted this season. She denies "acting" for the camera, but we know otherwise, Four Nannies. I have to admit, I miss last season's Camille who introduced Allison Dubois into my life. She was crazy, but I still liked her. She's ultra likable this season but I miss the crazy. We find out Kelsey doesn't speak to her at all. Kelsey, you're a loser. Grow a set like Brandi. I have no respect for you. Does Camille take pleasure in the fact that her show gets better ratings than Kelsey's? You damn straight she does! She says she's been humbled over the past year. I agree and we are happy for you, but please bring your crazy friend back and stop hiding in the bathroom.
The question of the day, "Taylor, your lips don't seem as large as in Season 1." Who is this idiot sending in questions? She flew in on her lips. There are more questions for Taylor about the book and her abuse. I can't even comment on this because the more she says the less respect I have for her. If you are going to tell everyone, and I mean EVERYONE about your abuse, then you should have left him a long time ago. I know victims of domestic violence and they don't say a word. Something just doesn't fit in this scenario. Now she has a murder conspiracy on Russell. Oh please, I can't take it.
One more episode to go and The Real Housewives of Orange County starts this week. So much blogging to do and so little time...
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